I still Lolzorz at this.
sorry i didn’t look you up when i was down, it was just too hot.
see you round?
"
Jay-Z said that he has 99 problems, with a bitch not being one of them. What do you think his 99 problems are, /b/?
#91- Went to the store to get a few 2 litre bottles of Pepsi but didn’t realize until he got home that he grabbed the diet variety. Now he has to drink 6 bottles of diet Pepsi because he doesn’t want to waste them.
#67- He sometimes calls his shoulders his “soldiers” by accident.
#56- He got some chicken nuggets with BBQ sauce at McDonalds drivethru. But they only gave him one thing of BBQ, which he finished. But he still has chicken nuggets left.
#13- Stubbed his toe. Didn’t break it, or anything, but it hurt for a little bit.
#48- Found out he was running a slight fever.
#64- The electric window on the driver-side door of his car works only intermittently, making for considerable embarrassment at toll booths.
#21- Took a massive dump after eating Taco Bell, only to realize there was no toilet paper in the bathroom.
#88- Got a few of his income tax forms mixed up with some unrelated papers and has to look through the whole file cabinet.
#49- Embarrassing dandruff problem.
#7- He lost a twenty, he thinks he might have left it in a pair of jeans somewhere but can’t seem to find it.
#51- No matter how many times he flips his blanket he cant get it lengthwise.
#20- He is pretty sure someone is leeching off his wireless internet, he doesn’t know whom and he can’t figure out how to stop it from happening and sometimes this keeps him sleepless at night.
#11- His’s neighbor’s dog, Scroto, pooped in his yard. He can’t prove anything but he knows it was him.
#18- He poured out a bowl of cereal only to realize there was no milk.
#47- He always flips his pillows over hoping they will be cool, but they never are.
#70- His chain is too sparkly and when he saw it’s reflection in the mirror yesterday he was temporarily blinded. He is still seeing floaters and wonders if he should see an optometrist about it.
#27- When he was 12 years old he was wearing shorts one day and a kid in his math class stabbed him with a pencil. To this day the speck of graphite is still embedded in his thigh, and while he’s sure it poses no harm to his health it bothers him whenever he notices it.
#28- He accidentally speed dialed his grandma twice in a row and knows that she’ll call back after a couple minutes, then he’ll have to either lie or explain that he didn’t want to call her.
"— 420chan, I love you. (via weetzie-bat)
"
Churchill has his black dogs and Kafka, his white mice - enemies of creation taking animal form. Well, I get the Baboons. The Baboons occur with reasonable, but not unmanageable regularity. They are not exactly depression, rather a state of anti-inspiration, and are often accompanied by the Hyenas - a clust-f*** of dog things that sit in the back stalls of the psyche and make inane, unhelpful and super critical remarks.
The Baboons and the Hyenas can, in time, be vanquished by a certain, secret,”trick of the mind”.
But the one you don’t mess with is the Moose. The Moose doesn’t come often (he is trapped in the stairwell with his ridiculous antlers), but when he does you can hear his hopeless bellowing reverberating around the house, and my wife collecting up the children and going “Hush now boys, Daddy’s got the Moose
"
(haha)
i’m watching high fidelity for the first time.
it’s already incrediboring.
arara mass makeout scene, a girl crying and a blown up test tube. getting better.
EDIT jack black FUCK THIS I HATE HIM and you can tell how bad i think this film is in how it was nice for him break up the scene that was happening. was that belle and sebastian? that was fucken boring.
hey, catherine zeta-jones! he looks like bruce springsteen. haha fucker. something i do like about it so far: it shows how annoying being uptight about music is FUCK HIM UP FUCK JACK BLACK RIGHT UP.
the bald one is gay and in love with him huh.
or just really awkward.
again it’s alright. it’s an okay film.
yet again he’s so paranoid, i love it now. hey, he’s an ex-dj. it’s ned!
speaking of bruce springsteen -
before when he was talking to the ex i just said ‘sit on my dick’ whenever he was talking. oh and this one he’s talking to, the clingy brunette is very close.
hey, there are actually people in their shitty record shop and jack black is being shitty as usual and the egg man is talking about green day. and being fucking awkward. ‘it sounds great’. ‘my name’s dick’. CORRECT
hey. this is clunky. but i don’t like the guy’s voice. something about the beta band. the beta band? yeah shoplifters. YEAH LEOPARD PRINT SKULL. i don’t like her fringe much it’sa bit mingin.
jamaican accent this is why i often wish i was attracted to women. accent. accent. shitty hat, but accent.
is ian played by kelsey grammer? dumb motherfucker. i like it. speaking of motherfuck
FUCK HIM UP FUCK HIM UP oh it was a dream.
yeah, speaking of motherfuckers, guess what i received from robbo today, about a year too late.
FUCK YOU CAROLINE
